Soviet era jokes applied to Obamacare

Obamacare, and its recent website implementation is riddle with all the same problems of Soviet era central planning.

In Soviet Union you could be sent to Siberia for speaking out openly, so few Russians criticized the government. They expressed their views in the forms of jokes (anecdotes = little stories). Its eerie how easily these anecdotes can be applied to Obamacare. For your viewing pleasure, the following are Russian anecdotes adopted for Obamacare.

First we start of with honest FAQ.

Healthcare.gov FAQ:

Q: Will people be able to buy health insurance when Obamacare website is finally built?
A: Some will, some will not.

Q: What is the most permanent feature of Obamacare?
A: Temporary glitches.

Q: What is the difference between private health insurance and Obamacare?
A: Private health insurance must be sold, Obamacare must be bought.

Q: We are told that we are approaching the horizon for a fully functional Obamacare website. What is the horizon?
A: Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.

Q: After trying to sign up for Obamacare for 7 hours my wife began to sigh. What do I do?
A: Immediately demand her to stop the GOP propaganda.

Q: Is it possible to build Obamacare for example in Hong Kong?”
A: It’s possible, but why?   Did Hong Kong do something wrong to you?

Q: I am unemployed and receive a subsidy to buy Obamacare. What shall I do if I suddenly feel a desire to work?
A: Just rest for a while on a sofa.   It will pass.

Q: How will income verification work under Obamacare?
A: Enrollee will pretend they have no income, Obamacare will pretend to verify.

Q: How does supply and demand work under Obamacare?
A: You are forced to buy Obamacare, and you persuade yourself that you need it.

Q: Are there any countries where it is not possible to implement Obamacare?
A: Yes, countries like Luxembourg are far to small for such a big mess.

Q: What is the difference between the guaranteed freedoms under the law before and after Obamacare? Both guarantee freedom not to buy health insurance?
A: Yes, but before Obamacare the law also guaranteed freedom after not buying health insurance.

Obama begins to give a speech: “Just last month the Obamacare website was standing on an edge of deep abyss. Since then, we’ve taken a significant step forward.”

What is the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
A pessimist says that Obamacare is so bad that it could not get any worse, while an optimist knows that it can.

Now for some short stories

A lecturer from the democratic party tells the audience about the bright future of Obamacare.
“After first 5 years, every family will have health insurance plan. After the next five years, every family will have their own doctor! And after another 5 years, every family will own an airplane!”
From the audience, somebody asks, “What the hell one may need an airplane for?”
“Don’t you see? Let’s say, there are shortage of antibiotics in your city. No problem! You take your own plane, fly to Washington and buy antibiotics!”

Two former schoolmates met in the street.
“Where do you work?”
“I am a school teacher. And what about you?”
“I work for Obamacare website.”
“Oh, and what are you doing for Obamacare website?”
“We unearth those who tried but were unable to sign up.”
“You mean, there are also some who were able to sign up?”

 

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